I’ve got some questions

I wonder how, in America, from way back until about, you know, practically last week, we’ve managed to get the treatment of black people (and other minorities, to be sure) so wrong? How, even after the Civil War, after our great national wrong was finally fully exposed, fully ended, it took us a hundred years, more than a hundred years, to stop getting it wrong. What’s at work there? I don’t know.

I’ve been reading some history lately. I’ve been watching Ken Burns’ Civil War.

I wonder: what is the human’s base state? Is there one? Is it fear? Is it boredom? Hunger (and not just for food)?

I’ve been looking at Facebook maybe a little too much.

I wonder about fear. About how maybe the old thing about how there are two kinds of people comes down to those who have fear and those who don’t. Well, that’s not fair. Everyone has it. Maybe it’s those who allow fear to rule and those who refuse. Or fear versus the opposite of it. And what is that? Love? Is it no versus yes? Is it usually no versus usually yes? Or is it no and yes all mixed up? (Could it be love?)

I wonder if our American politics have always been so nasty, so reductive, so black and white. Why is it that it enrages me seeing that high school friends have shared Fox News items about how many American states have moved to block Syrian only when I learn that this high school friend actually approves of this, is in favor of it?

So much fear. Is this normal? Has it always been this way? Is something big and awful truly coming? I don’t know. I think signs of the apocalypse have always been there, if you look hard enough. Someone’s always hopeful the end is nigh. And why is that? So they can stop worrying, planning, going to work, faking it? So they can have it end without they themselves doing the ending? Just to say “I told you so”?

I’ve been looking at Facebook too much.

I also wonder about this chili I just made. It’s my best one ever. I think it’s because I didn’t put any cumin in it. I wonder if I should eat another bowl.